December 6, 2009

365 Project: Day 51

Didn't the holidays seem so much more exciting when you were a kid? Now Christmas just seems like another day in the year. I find myself asking for gifts that I actually need, as opposed to some frivolous thing that I'd like to have. Where's the fun in that?

When I was really little, my mom took me to see Santa at the mall. When he asked me what I wanted for Christmas, I told him I wanted an ice cream cone. Wasn't I cute? Christmas morning I woke up to find that along with my other presents, Santa had brought me an ice cream cone complete with vanilla Bluebell ice cream. (For those of you who don't know, Bluebell is only the BEST ice cream ever and its pretty much only sold in Texas.) There is a picture of me sitting in my PJs enjoying my treat. Life was just so much simpler back then.

I resent being an adult. I don't like it at all. When you're little, you can't wait to grow up. But I don't remember anyone ever telling me that I'd have to get my car registered, fill out standardized forms, pay bills EVERY month, have insurance, credit cards, a job, mortgages, taxes...there is a lot of paperwork that goes along with being an adult. Not to mention just taking care of yourself on a daily basis. Laundry, cleaning, cooking, grocery shopping, taking out the trash, etc. These were all the things that my parents took care of. Now that I'm an adult, I find it all to be quite the inconvenience.

I miss the simplicity of my life as a child. You'd get milk and cookies, a nap in the afternoon, you can reside in your imagination and dream all day, someone makes all your meals and drives you around...its the life. If you get sick, your mom takes your temperature with the utmost concern and then brings you soup. You're upset or you hurt yourself, someone was always there to hold you and comfort you until you felt better. I still want someone to do that for me. If you're mad, you can throw a complete tantrum, in public none-the-less, and people may be annoyed, but no one says a thing. I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to do that as an adult. You can do the craziest things as a kid and people just laugh, but if you did the same things as an adult, you'd probably be institutionalized.

Sometimes I still want to drink soda out of a swirly straw. I want to run through the sprinklers. I want to do cartwheels in the grass. I want to blow bubbles in my chocolate milk. I want to color. I want someone to cut the crust off my PB&J. I want to trust people without hesitation just because they seem nice. I want to play my favorite song and dance like no one is watching. I want to completely let go. I want to believe that anything is possible if you say pretty please. I want to laugh until my stomach hurts for no good reason. But as an adult, things just don't seem as funny anymore.

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