November 30, 2009

365 Project: Day 39

After a little over a month of working on this 365 project, I am realizing a little more every day how much it has already changed my life. I have to do a lot of reflecting on myself and the world around me to create these posts every day. I have to consciously live my life in the present and then take a step back and look at it all from a distance. I evaluate what is going on and how I feel about it and then I decide how I'm going to share that with a world full of people I don't know...and who don't know me.

The response I have gotten from people I've never met has been overwhelming. I receive comments and emails about this project almost every single day. I had no idea that I would be able to connect with so many people by just writing about my life and what is on my mind. If it has taught me anything, its that no one is ever truly alone.

I have been through a lot in the last 39 days. I have opened myself and my life up to the world. In one way that has been very therapeutic for me. In another way it has been scary and very invasive. I haven't decided how I feel about that yet. But, I'm not going to stop the project. I can't imagine where I will be 326 days from now. I hope you will all stick with me through this.

This is my aunt's pool. I spent many summer days swimming in here when I was a kid. I learned to swim in this pool. My dad threw me in and basically stood at the side and watched me struggle. He encouraged me to kick my legs and I was terrified. But I knew he wouldn't let me drown. Thats sort of how it is with my dad. He'll throw you in the deep end, then stand there and watch you try to keep above water until you find your own way. But he's always there to rescue you if you really need it. Because of him I learned to swim and I will always be able to keep myself afloat.

I also had reoccurring nightmares about drowning, but take from it what you will. Haha.

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