February 9, 2010

365 Project: Day 102

I wish I could just stay like this for just a few days. Curled up in bed, headphones on, iPod in hand. Content. But, you know, life keeps on going. You can't stop it. You can't slow it down. It moves on dragging you along with it whether you need to stop for a breather or not. Time keeps passing. New days keep beginning and ending and beginning again. Life doesn't care if you are tired. It doesn't care if you aren't ready. It doesn't care if you want to stay 26 a little longer.
Tomorrow is my birthday. Yep. In a few hours I'll be 27. I don't feel older. I just feel like I'm not living my life fast enough to keep up with my age. I haven't accomplished everything I wanted to accomplish by the time I turned 27. But somehow I'm supposed to accept that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be at this point and be ok with that.

Last year I went skydiving for my birthday. What better way to celebrate your life than by doing something that could end it? Short of driving into oncoming traffic, I can't top flinging myself out of a plane at 18,000 feet this year. I'm not even going to try. 26 was a tough year for me. Come to think of it, so was 25...and 24. Your 20s are tough. There is so much to learn about yourself. You do a lot of growing in your 20s. You're becoming this person. This adult. I'm still just trying to get my head on straight and get a grip on what I'm doing with myself. I feel like I'm going to look back on these years through the eyes of experience and shake my head wondering, why was I so worried, why was I so confused, why was I so stressed, why was I so hard on myself, why did I take things so seriously?

Honestly, I just want to stay right here, eat a cupcake, and let my biological clock tick over to 27 like a dream. Another year of my life. Gone. Lived. Here I stand on the brink of another beginning. Oh, 27, please be kind.

1 comment:

L @ Salt and Sentiment said...

I will be turning 29 months. It doesn't really get any easier...but I will say I think I've figured out alot since 27. Im not even CLOSE to figuring it all out, but every year I feel I am better off than before---even if before was wonderful! Happy Birthday, and cheers to your next year!