365 Project: Day 131

Lately I feel like I'm waiting around for something to happen. I don't know what, I don't even know what I want to happen at this point. But still, I'm waiting, trying to figure it all out. 

I'm still waiting for my motivation to return. I'm bored, unsettled, unsure. I don't know if I can wait much longer to figure all of this out before I explode. Its getting really frustrating and I feel like I'm wasting time. Days are just going by one by one with no distinction between them. I'm trying to wait patiently. Unfortunately patience is not a virtue I possess.  For once in my life I wish that something could just come easily. Effortlessly. Is it too much to ask for something amazing to just happen?

365 Project: Day 126

I find myself standing like this when I'm really thinking about something. I stretch my arms up, I pull my hair away from my face, I take a deep breath and I rest my hands on my head. You can even see me doing this in Day 31's picture. I've been catching myself standing like this and looking out the window a lot lately. Its interesting the things you notice yourself doing when you're just being yourself. 

I look out the window or I stand on the porch and I just stare. Not at anything in particular...just into the distance. I don't know what is going on with me lately. I'm tired, I'm on edge, I'm unmotivated, I'm frustrated, I can't focus on one thing for more than five minutes at a time. I'm bored. I feel like I've hit a wall on so many levels. Creatively, personally, mentally. I think the inevitable has happened and I have burned myself out. I'm right on schedule though. I shouldn't be surprised. Its been about one year in the same place and I have that anxious feeling growing in the pit of my stomach. I should have expected it.

I've had this stagnant feeling many times before. Something is missing. I'm impatient for a change. I feel myself being pulled away from this place, from my routine, from my life. It doesn't seem like I'm moving in the right direction. Or any direction at all. This nervous energy is building inside of me. Its like I'm about to burst and go flying in 500 directions at once just for the sake of progress. I'm trying to hold it in, but I am constantly asking myself, "What am I doing? What's the next step?" It consumes me.

I want to be able to look out the window and for once be content. I just want to be satisfied. But I don't think I'm capable of that. I can't imagine a point in my life that it will ever happen. I will only be satisfied in a state of constant motion. I am a restless soul. *sigh*

365 Project: Day 100

I woke up this morning to find my car encased in a block of ice. The doors were even frozen shut. I'm looking out the window at it right now. I don't want to go outside in this mess. I hate winter, I hate being cold, I hate snow, and I hate scraping the ice off of my car. I can't wait until Spring. 

This is Day 100 of my 365 project and I feel like I have just barely made it. I have been so incredibly busy and exhausted lately that this project has sadly started to fall through the cracks. There are just not enough hours in the day to get everything finished and eat and be social and sleep and maybe even shower once in a while. However, I love this project and I am going to try my hardest to finish it. I may not be able to take a picture every single day, but I will take 365 pictures by the end of it.

It amazes me the response I get when I'm not posting every day. I get emails, comments, I'll randomly run into people I know who ask me why they haven't seen a new entry lately. I had no idea that people were really paying attention to what I was doing. But, I must admit, I miss it too. I promise I will try harder. 

Scissor Skills!

Imagine my surprise when I was walking down the street, minding my own business, and I saw this amazing paper creation staring back at me through a shop window. 

 My photos don't do this justice at all.  It looks like a tangled mess, but it was actually quite interesting.  There are so many little intricate shapes that make up this enormous web of paper.

I was truly impressed.