365 Project: Day 134

I'm working hard to make some major changes in my life. I feel like there are so many things that I should be doing that I'm not, many things I want to do that I haven't, and many things I shouldn't be doing that I am. All of that has to change. I feel this sudden urgency to get it together. 

As a teenager I daydreamed about the life I wanted to live, and back then, it all seemed possible. I remember being so hopeful and feeling like I had so much time to figure everything out. I didn't know about all of the distractions and detours and dead ends that can come up along the road of life. There are so many ways to lose yourself and I'm feeling very lost lately. I know where I want to end up and I know where I've been, but somehow I've wandered off my path and I've gotten lost in this maze. My frustration has been building and building and I've finally reached a breaking point. I have to do something. Its time to get my priorities straight.

365 Project: Day 130

I have a love affair with water. Pools, rivers, lakes, oceans, I love it all. Floating around on the surface of the water, everything gets calm and quiet for once. There is something about not being able to feel the weight of yourself that is relaxing and freeing in a way that nothing else can be. 

Its nice to be weightless sometimes. 

365 Project: Day 90

I saw a theme for a photography contest today: What is love? I think I might enter this image. Its not really the sappy hearts and flowers picture that the judges are probably expecting. I've written about love before, but I've never asked myself this specific question. What is love?

Honestly, I can say, I don't think I know anymore. My past experiences with love, in a romantic sense,  have gone from wonderful to frustrating, confusing, and painful. I've lost a lot of myself in relationships. Every time I meet someone new it only gets more and more difficult to give my heart away. Now days, I tend to keep a safe distance.

Each time a relationship ends I retreat to lick my wounds. I hide away and try to put myself back together, stitch by stitch. I won't let anyone in for a long time. Its tough to get through the layer of scar tissue that has grown around my heart. It gets thicker and harder with every break, every wound, every little prick of a hurt feeling.

Right now I feel like things are as they should be. My heart is back in its rightful place. The stitches will hold me together until I can heal completely. It'll take a while, but I'll be good as new one day.

So I ask myself...what is love? To me, love is a broken heart on the mend.

Secretary Desk: Mission Accomplished!

Around Christmas I found this awesome secretary desk on the side of the road with a giant "FREE" sign stuck to the front of it.  I immediately pulled over and loaded it into the back of the car.  I'm sure people were staring as they were driving by, but I had hit the furniture jackpot and I wasn't about to leave it on the side of the road! 

This is what the desk looked like when I first picked it up.  It had so much potential.  What crazy person would have thrown this out!?

There was a weird, thin layer of shiny wood on the outside of the drawers.  It was cracking and peeling off anyway, so I chipped the rest of it off with a paint scraper and a hammer. Don't worry, I was wearing goggles.  I'm a photographer!  If something happens to my eyes its all over!  The whole thing was super wobbly, so I had to break off the legs and re-attach them to make it more stable.  

Once I got it all cleaned up I primed the desk.  I sort of liked the way that it looked with just the primer.  But I continued on with the original plan anyway.

This is what the secretary desk looks like now.  I love it!  The color is "Black Suede" and I think it looks so slick!

In the inside there is an added surprise.  I couldn't just leave it all black, there needed to be color somewhere.  I searched high and low for the perfect paper to use on the inside.  I finally found this paper at Paper Source and just fell in love with it.

I am so proud of this desk.  It really fits in with the rest of our condo and the paper on the inside adds an extra pop of color.  Since we are renting our condo, we can't paint the walls. Ugh!  Everything is very tan and white so I try to sneak in some color wherever I can.

Quote for the day:

"You will achieve a grand dream, a day at a time, so set goals for each day.  Not long and difficult projects, but chores that will take you, step by step, toward your rainbow.  Write them down, if you must, but limit your list so that you won't have to drag today's undone matters into tomorrow.  Remember that you cannot build your pyramid in twenty-four hours.  Be patient.  Never allow your day to become so cluttered that you neglect your most important goal: to do the best you can, enjoy this day, and rest satisfied with what you have accomplished."

-- Og Mandino