365 Project: Day 70

Christmas Day. No, I did not get this miniature 4-Wheeler for Christmas. It belongs to my little cousins and they are actually selling it. I was trying to convince my dad to buy it for me, with no luck. But, I couldn't resist taking my picture with it.

My cousins are 9 and 7 years old and full of questions. They were standing outside watching me and asking why I was taking a picture of myself. I really gave them no clear reason aside from "just because." That seemed to do the trick. But I started thinking about it...why am I doing this project?

I had been thinking about starting this project for a long time. A couple of years. My photography was in a rut. I was looking for a way to get myself shooting and thinking creatively again. It was that simple really. But my reasons evolved as each day went by. My intentions were only to take a picture each day. That quickly changed and I began writing. I'm not sure why I started writing, but I was suddenly compelled to explain myself. The writing started slowly. Just a short sentence. A caption to go with the picture. It wasn't enough. Apparently I had more to say. Much more. So, I kept going and I'll keep going until I run out of words or I hit 365 days. Whichever comes first.

In the last 70 days, not only have my reasons for this project changed, I have changed. The way I look at my life has changed. It has given me purpose. It has provided me an outlet to express things I didn't even know I was thinking. I cannot tell you all how much this project and the people I've met because of it, have enriched my life. I have grown tremendously as a person. I am learning about myself every single day. I feel like I'm becoming acquainted with who I am as a person for the first time. Its incredibly overwhelming for me. I'm so glad that I get to share this experience with the world. And now...here come the tears.

To sum it all up, this project has been a great, humbling blessing for me. It rescued me in so many ways. Or I rescued myself through it. Either way, even if no one ever read the things I write, I would still continue. Its a huge bonus that I've been able to reach other people through this project. The response I've gotten has been incredible.

Now, how do you explain all of that to a 7 and a 9 year old? You say, *shrug* "I dunno. Just because."

365 Project: Day 44

I'm feeling really exposed lately. Its sort of cold and lonely out here. I think most of you would be surprised to hear this, but I'm a really private person. There are very few people that I truly confide in and I don't let my feelings out very often. That's why I keep a journal. I'm much more comfortable keeping things to myself and writing them down where they are protected from the world.

Since I started this project I feel myself slowly opening up. But all of a sudden it has occurred to me that I have exposed myself. I am letting people into my life. Writing for this project has been more of a personal challenge than I ever imagined it could be. It wasn't even part of the original plan. But once I started taking pictures, I felt the need to explain them. And because I have chosen to do so on the internet, there are potentially millions of people who can see me and who can read about what I'm thinking and going through in my life. I find that incredibly invasive and honestly, very terrifying. I have this nagging urge to retreat and pull back into my shell. But the fact that I am afraid only proves to me that this is worth it and I have to keep going. If for nothing else, then for the sake of personal growth and pushing my own limits.

365 Project: Day 15

This is my journal. It amazes me that a little book of paper could be so important to me. Its a huge part of my life and I usually have it with me wherever I go. I have kept a journal since I was 12 or 13. That's when I feel like my life started to get complicated and the only thing I could do was write about it. Writing helps me sort out my thoughts in a way that makes sense to me. Most of the time there are so many things going on in my head that its difficult to think clearly. Journaling calms me and forces me to focus. I get lost in the writing. I can (and do) write in my journal for hours sometimes. Just a stream of consciousness about whatever is on my mind that day.

I also put keepsakes in it. Its full of ticket stubs, pictures, matchbook covers...anything that reminds me of something special that happened that day. There have even been times when I didn't have my journal with me and felt like writing so I just grabbed a napkin, scrap paper, whatever was available and wrote on that. Those little pieces of my thoughts are taped into the pages of this book. I'll flip through my old journals sometimes just to see where I was at that time in my life. Its interesting to see how I have grown and changed over the years.

If you don't keep a journal, I highly recommend that you at least try it. Let me know how it goes.

Diane Von Furstenberg

My first love in photography is fashion.  If I could only photograph one subject for the rest of my life I would choose fashion, no doubt.

Diane Von Furstenberg creates the most beautiful, feminine clothes for women.  She has lived an incredible life and is such a great role model.  If you ever have a chance to read her autobiography, I highly suggest that you do.

I just got a look at her Spring 2009 collection and I love it!  These are just a few of my favorites:

The ad campaigns for DVF are photographed by an artist/writer named Francois-Marie Banier.  His work is so inspirational to me.  He combines photography with writing, drawing and painting to create the most interesting images.  A Russian model named Natalia Vodianova (of course she is breath taking) is the muse for these artistic advertisements. 

I love how he uses big swipes of color over the images.  It creates a whole new life for black and white photographs. To see more of his work you can visit his website.

Quote for the day:

"Creativity is a type of learning process where the teacher and pupil are located in the same individual."

--Arthur Koestler